


Substructure

by wraithkid



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Casual Sex, Gen, Gender Issues, Multi, Trans Character, eren is a typical boy, sass master levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-04 05:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1766428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wraithkid/pseuds/wraithkid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In what way do we begin? Is it when we emerge from between our mother’s legs, when the doctor spanks us into life? Or when we’re five and playing pretend and marrying our brothers and sisters? Or is it when we’re adults, confident in our identities and sure of our footing?</p><p>Is it possible to have more than one beginning?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Struggle is Real: A novel by Levi

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't like trans!headcanons, turn back now. I will attempt to make any experiences revolving around trans things as accurate as possible, but no one person's experience is the same; please respect that the happenings and pathways that occur to the characters in this fic may not reflect the ones that occur to other transgender people in both the fictional and real world. A lot of things that may be described (any mentions of dysphoria, reactions from others) are things that I personally have encountered. I will also include at the beginning of every chapter any trigger warnings I feel necessary; please let me know if you feel something else needs to be added in terms of a warning.  
> I don't write Levi as sophisticated. I'm sorry if that bothers you. I don't see him as a particularly sophisticated person in the manga or anime, and I choose to keep him in a state of mild insults and poop jokes.  
> All that being said, hello, ao3! I've never posted a story on here before, so please let me know how to improve any formatting errors you spot. I'm used to using fanfiction (although it's been years, I've no clue as to what their uploading system is like anymore). also i spell it hanji not hange because what when did it start being hange  
> It should also be noted that romance is not the main focus of this fic. I don't currently plan on a lot of fluff or smut; but then again my ability to stick to a solid plan when I write out the actual chapters tends to be iffy.

  
He’s not entirely sure when he knew. He doesn’t know if it was something instilled in him from birth or something that developed--- and he doesn’t really care. To be completely honest, he doesn’t think it even matters when or why or how he came to be how he was today; he’s here and that’s what matters, isn’t it?

Okay. This is sounding a little gay. Let’s break this down for you: his name is Levi. He was not brought into the world with that name. His gender is male. He was not brought into the world with that gender. His age is 20. He was not born twenty, you incompetent nipple twist. He is a gardener. 

He might be a little gay. That’s irrelevant.

 

\----

 

“You know, if it wasn't for that short little nose of yours, you’d probably pass as male.”

“Do I need to remind you of what a blended dick feels like, Aururo?” The man’s hand instantly retracted from its attempt at bopping his nose. Levi shuffled past him, sure to leave a noticeable gap between them. Naturally, this didn't work. It never seemed to work, as no matter what, Aururo would expend the unnecessary energy to do exactly what Levi doesn't want him to do.

Skin brushes skin. 

He flinches, and soon he’s flinching too. Levi lowers my knee from it’s position at Aururo’s crotch as he hunches over, biting his tongue in the process. 

He knows better. The entire office knows better.

That certainly doesn't stop them from staring.  


 

\---

“Maybe you should go easy on him, Levi. He isn’t used to all this,” Petra is saying, pushing around her salad with her plastic spork. Part of him wishes he was paying attention to what she was actually saying, rather than staring at the piece of hair sticking straight up at her hairline. It’s bothering him, and he thinks she can feel him staring at it, but neither makes a move to fix it. “It’ll take him some time, you know? He’s known you as Lynette for years, it’ll take him some time to adjust.”

“My name is being changed legally. He doesn’t get to call me by a name I don’t go by.”

“Levi, what I’m saying is, it’ll take him some time to remember. What if I suddenly changed my name to Robert. Would you automatically remember that it’s Robert now, and not Petra?”

“I’d still call you Carrot Hair.”

“Levi, be realistic.”

“I am a realist, Carrot Top. I speak no lies.” Petra groaned with frustration.

“Okay, whatever---- but just. Give him some time! He’s a little slow, you know? And he never thinks before he speaks, you know that.”

“I’ve been out for five years, you’d think the ignorant walnut would get it right by now.”

“He’s known you since you were born, Levi.”

“I don’t care, it’s been five years. I think five years is enough time to remember someone’s name.”

“He gave you that name, Levi.”

“I gave it back. He can suck my metaphorical dick and shove his putrid name up his ass.”

“Levi! There are children here!”

“Well, damn it all, Petra. God forbid they hear a word from a stranger that their shitty parents have said to them a million god damn times.”

“You’re horrible, Levi.”

 

\----

 

“Levvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

“Ew.” 

“Aw, look how happy he is to see me, Moblit!” Hanji said, pinching his cheek and laughing. “What a little cutie!”

“I’m not cute.”

“You’re right. You’re fucking adorable. Come here. Come to Papa’s bosom. It’s okay. Momma’s got you,” they said, smothering my head into their chest and patting my head. “Aw, you’re blushing!!”

“Um, actually, I think he’s suffocating.”

“Oh, right.” Hanji suddenly released me, stepping away. 

“I, are you alright, sir?” Moblit asked, glancing warily. Levi had a record for reacting violently to being touched, after all--- he was always concerned for Hanji’s safety. It was almost endearing. 

Mostly it was just pathetic.

“But no, look at you in your cute little cravat and your cute little vest, you’re the cutest little bugger,” Hanji said, placing their hands on my shoulders and looking me over. “You are just the cutest little fella, Levi.”

“And you’re still a big bag of shit, Hanji.”

“You’re so romantic, Levi. I’m swooning, Moblit, catch me!”

A look of panic crossed over the man’s features as Hanji dramatically sighed and fell backwards, not caring that they would potentially hit the concrete if Moblit didn’t react fast enough. Unfortunately for Levi, Moblit has good reflexes and caught the apparently swooning Hanji mid-fall. 

“Hanji, we’re going to be late to the meeting,” he chastised, ever cautious. 

“Oh, loosen up a bit! We’ll be fashionably late, it’s fine.”

“I really don’t think that’s---“

“Let’s go get froyo!”

“Hanji, you know Levi can’t----“

“They have tea.”

“Why do you assume I’ll go with you?”

“Because you don’t have a choice, mostly. You’re paying.”

“Says who?”

“Says me. Take me out on a date, Levi. Treat me like your beau. Fuck me in the bathroom.”

Moblit coughed, looking away.

Levi grunted. “Maybe some other time. I have to take a shit.”

“Aw, man--- now that you mention it, I totally do too.”

“We aren’t having a poop date, Hanji. Get that thought out of your shitty little brain.”

Hanji sighed loudly and leaned onto Moblit. “Finnnneeeee, I’ll call you later. Have a good shit---don’t fall in!”

“Whatever, creep.”  
\--- “Hanji, Hanji, Hanji. Will you please wipe that disgusting dairy product off your grimy chin before I force your face into a bowl of acetone?”

Hanji stopped mid-sentence in their conversation with Moblit to raise a sleeve to their chin and wipe vigorously, making eye contact the entire time. Moblit looked on like a love-sick puppy, before ducking his head back down to distractedly work on his sketch. “Acetone isn’t a proper cleaning agent for this scenario, Levi. Are you feeling alright?”

“Who said it was to disinfect your face? There’s nothing strong enough to remove that much dirt.”

“Fuck me sideways, Levi. I love when you talk dirty to me.”

“Can you not,” Moblit grumbled into his milkshake.

“You can join, buddy.”

“Ew.”

“Thanks for that, Levi,” he grumbled more.  
“That was a general voicing of my disgust towards Hanji’s raunchy body, not yours. You at least make an attempt to bathe.”

“Oh, come on! I bathe!”

“Yeah, in shit.”

“Okay, that was one time, and I was wasted, and they told me it was mud.”

“No, I’m pretty sure we all told you it wasn’t.”

“God, Moby Dick, you’re awfully grumps today, aren’t you?” Hanji said, puffing out their cheeks and jabbing the man’s side with their fingers.

“Wonder why,” he said, swatting away the prodding fingers and going back to his sketchbook.

Hanji huffed in confusion and looked at him. Levi shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. 

“So, anyways, next week I’ve volunteered to help out with a community group thing for kids under 21, and you’re an individual under 21, so I figured I might ask you if you wanted to come too?”

“Hanji. Why would I want to spend time with other people my age?”

“Well, Levi, it’s not exactly healthy to only hang out with us and Erwin. You need friends in your age group, you know? People you can relate to!”

“You’re 23.”

“Erwin is 38, Levi. He was an adult when you were born.”

“So? My parents were 20 years apart.”

“Your mom had you at 15 and your father killed her when you were two months old. That’s a bad example.”

“Erwin would probably be the one killed.”

“Still, Levi--- just. Come. It’ll be fun. We can make fun of the dorky little sixteen year olds.”

“If one of them so much as looks at me, Hanji.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll only be trying to figure out why a twelve year old is there.”

Moblit ended up taking the black eye that was meant for Hanji.

 

\---

 

“Remind me again, Hanji. What’s the point of me being here?”

“I’ll let you tie me up tonight.”

“THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE,” Petra shouted, horrified. 

Said “children” only laughed. 

“Anywayyyyssss, Levi, introduce yourself.”

“Why the hell,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “Whatever, brats, my name is Levi and I work in a shithole office downtown and that’s all you get to know.”

Hanji nodded. “Alrighty, next!”

“My name is Eren Jaeger, I’m 17, and I got my GED and I started up my own lawn care business. I’m here to support my sister and best friend.”

The group said hello to Eren.

“My name is Mikasa Ackerman. I’m also 17, and graduated highschool when I was 16. I help Eren with his business as well as go to school at the local community college. I’m transitioning to female.”

“My name is Armin Arlelt! I’m a close friend of Eren and Mikasa’s and attend the university. I’m Gender Queer.”

“My name is Sasha Braus! I just came here for the free food? But I’m also bisexual!”

“I’m Connie, I uh, just followed Sasha. Well, it wasn’t really following. I didn’t really want to intrude on your meeting. She dragged me here.”

“I’m Annie. I’m here,” said a blonde in a hoodie who flopped into a chair next to a sweaty man and a blond meatball.

They continued around the circle for a bit as he stared down the boy next to him who kept biting at the side of his thumb. Eren.

“I’m Petra Ral, I work with Levi! I am also going to school to become a counselor.”

“Alrighty, then that just leaves me! I’m Hanji Zoe, I’m agender, and 23, and I’m a scientist. I got involved with the community when I was very young, having been raised by my two aunts from age 14. I minor in psychology and gender studies in college. I recently started getting involved with giving back to the community that raised me by mentoring young adults such as yourselves, which includes offering a couch to anyone who needs it. Levi can attest to how comfy my couch is, too---right Levi?”

“Like a bag of rocks.”

Hanji smiled and nodded before stopping abruptly. “Hey, you little dickface, my couch is more comfortable than yours!”

“I don’t have a couch, Hanji.”

The group laughed lightly. 

“Anyways, excusing Mr. Dickwad McDickerson over here, if you guys need anything—someone to talk to, a place to crash, help finding a physician, condoms, lube---anything, just let me know. All of my contact information is in the folder that you all got when you came in--- as well as several backup numbers of some trusted colleagues in case I’m unavailable for some reason.”

“Hanji, why the fuck is my number in here?”

“Because, Levi, you’re usually the reason I don’t answer my phone.”

“Well, maybe if you cleaned your piece of shit apartment once in a while, you---- will you cut that out, brat?” 

The boy named Eren’s eyes went wide as he turned to look at him. “Cut what out?”

“The biting thing, you’re making the most disgusting noise.”

Eren looked at his thumb and narrowed his eyes. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t realize I was even doing it.”

 

\----

 

Levi did not enjoy social events. He didn’t particularly enjoy people. 

He especially didn’t enjoy 17 year old boys who chewed their fingers and spoke too loud. 

Unfortunately, said 17 year olds seemed to,--- for some, ungodly reason,--- be drawn directly to him.

Levi hated meetings.

Levi hated Hanji.  
“But yeah, I think it’d be super cool for you and Mikasa to exchange numbers and talk, and stuff, ‘cause you’ve been around the block a few times and you know we’re just teenagers and everything---“

Levi wasn’t sure when this over-grown bologna sandwich started talking to him, and he wasn’t sure when he’d agreed to give him his number, but it happened. Somewhere in a fit of frustration, Levi had typed his seven digits into whatever phone was handed to him. 

Due to his rash actions, a certain teen was currently blowing up his phone with poor grammar and emoticons.

Levi was about to throw his phone off of the roof of Hanji’s apartment complex when it started buzzing with an incoming call.

“Listen, kid, you are interrupting something very, very important, and if you don’t shut the fuck up, I will castrate you.”

“Woah, woah, chill--- it’s Gunther. I just need to know where you put the papers.”

“In the outgoing box clearly labeled with your formal title.”

“Is it the one that says Pisshead, or the one that says Asshat?”

“Well, let’s use our brains. What’s the color of your hair? What do I tell you it looks like? Very good.”

“Thanks, man. You’re being particularly snarky tonight. Are you doing okay?”

“You interrupted something important, I fucking told you.”

“Shit, are you getting laid, man? Sorry!”

Gunther hung up, and Levi tossed his phone into a pile of something dark in the corner, sitting back against Hanji’s awaiting side as they unpaused the movie. 

As a rule, Levi did not like being touched. As a rule, Levi did not like to be cuddled. As a rule, none of that mattered with Hanji. He wasn’t really sure why, but with Hanji, it was okay. With Hanji, casual touches didn’t send off warning signals. With Hanji, he didn’t mind the close proximity of their bodies, or whether there was a layer of clothing between their skin. 

With Hanji, he found comfort. 

 

\---

_So r u an hanji an item_

**None of ur damn business, twerp.**

_U r arent u_

**No**

_U wanna be tho rite_

**No**

_I think they like u tho_

**You are wrong.**

_I like you_

Levi stared at his phone. What.

**Excuse me.**

_I said I like you can’t you read?_

**Bitch I am twenty one. Please shove your overly forward teenaged face into a blender.**

_I turn 18 in like a week ok it’s not even weird_

**Yeah okay but you are forgetting an important factor**

_Whats that_

**I’m not interested, shit for brains.**

Eren didn’t respond after that. Levi let out a sigh of relief as he tossed his phone to the other side of his bed and pulled the covers down around him. Teenage boys were so frustrating.

People in general were so frustrating. He didn’t understand why they always tried to get with him--- he was pretty sure he was distantly related to bullfrogs. 

Really fucking hot bullfrogs.  


“Do you ever wonder why small infantile dickheads feel a magnetic pull towards us?”

“You’re so poetic, fuck me now,” Hanji responded from down the hall, voice slightly wavering. A crash soon followed, indicating they were probably doing something idiotic again. Levi sometimes wondered how Hanji had managed to live to 23.

He deduced that it was mostly because Moblit had been by their side since they were two. 

Unfortunately for both of them, Moblit also had a life of his own now, after 21 years of puppy-eyed devotion. In fact, Moblit had such a serious life that no one really know what happened--- when had he had the time to go on dates with women and produce children? 

Levi would never understand it.

“Hey, Hanj, are you alive or do I need to call my friend at the morgue?”

“WhAAAT, you have a friend at the morgue?” Hanji squealed as they unburied themself from the mound of books and clothes that had fallen from the top shelf of their closet onto them.

“Yes, Hanji. You’ve known this for ages. No, we can’t go visit them.”

“Aw, man…”

“What are you even doing in here?”

“Well, about three months ago, I made this really great sandwich, and I was eating it but then my phone rang, so I set it up here, but then I forgot, and you know it really sounds good right about now---“

“Don’t you dare touch me with that moldy piece of ass, I swear to god Hanji, I will murder you and feed your genitals to cows,” he said, as Hanji pulled up a severely moldy piece of what may have once been a sandwich. 

Hanji giggled and sealed the moldy abomination into a plastic bag, before tucking it into their lab bag. They walked back towards Levi, going to reach for him.

Levi’s face scrunched. “Go wash your hands, you disgusting pile of trash.”

Hanji blinked and, arms still raised, turned on their heel and went into the bathroom and washed their hands, before repeating the halted action, enclosing Levi’s face between two large hands. “How are you today, sugar bear?”

“How did Moblit manage to procreate while we weren’t looking?”

“What?”

“Moblit. How did he manage to create a family? He’s like always by your side.”

“Moblit has a family?”

“Hanji. You _knew_ about this. You went to the wedding.”

“Moblit’s _married?”_


	2. Hanji is Especially Shitty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some moody monologue, some good reminiscing, some very casual fooling around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some sexing happening at the end of this chapter but it's all very vague and not graphic at all it's real soft core it's the second chapter  
> anyways i upped the rating to mature  
> also some seemingly pointless monologue and memories that I'll expand on later; most of the first section of the chapters will be sort of like a glimpse at Levi's inner workings??? in case you guys start noticing a pattern haha

Being queer is hard. Whether it’s in how you feel attraction, how you identify, or how you express yourself, being queer is hard and it hurts. No matter how much you try to fit in, you don’t. No matter how much you’re assured that your family loves you, they probably don’t. You see it in their eyes, as they pointedly ignore you at family gatherings. Just you. They come up and say hello to your brother and your cousins, but don’t so much as spare a glance in your direction. No friendly hugs, no “how are you?” and no awkward handshakes from distant cousins you’ve only ever seen at these events and couldn’t so much as guess their names or relations to you.

Being queer is painful.

You try and search out groups for people just like you, and you end up going to gay-straight alliances where they don’t respect you, because you aren’t a gay white boy, or a pretty lesbian. You mention words like transgender and they stare at you and ignore you. You tell them the A isn’t for ally and that it’s for asexual and they _laugh_ at you. They mock you. You want to speak up but you’re so ashamed. You’re embarrassed. You thought this was a safe-space, where you’d be understood. 

You thought wrong.  
\--- 

“How did you and Hanji meet?” 

“One night stand when I was 16.”

The trio of kids stared at him: Eren in confused wonder and maybe a bit of anger--- that may have just been his face, though, Levi couldn’t tell---, Mikasa blankly, and Armin in a knowing way as if he had called it, or been there himself.

“And you’re sure you aren’t an item?” Eren asked, crossing his arms.

“Have you never heard of platonic sex? Casual sex? Sex between friends?” Armin asked, elbowing the brunette in the side. “If Levi says they aren’t dating, then they aren’t dating, you dolt!”

Levi lifted an eyebrow. Armin was a little testy today. “What’s got your testicles in a bunch?”

Ha. Testy. Testicles. 

Levi was a comedic genius sometimes. Mikasa and Armin could only groan, Eren confusedly rubbing at his ribs and making a noise that almost sounded like laughter.

In the distance, they heard Hanji’s distinct guffaw. 

\----  


“I think Armin has a crush on Eren,” Levi mused to Hanji over a cup of tea.

“Yeah? What makes you think that? Didn’t Eren confess to you the other day?”

Levi nodded. “It’s just, when they were doing their routine interrogation about us, Armin got really defensive about the casual sex thing. I feel like maybe Armin’s been barking up that tree or something.”

Hanji seemed to contemplate this for a bit before shrugging. “Armin’s a cute kid, and from what I’ve heard, those three practically grew up together from infancy. It wouldn’t surprise me if something happened between at least two of them.”

Levi scowled a little. “I hope you’re not implying that they’d have a threesome, because I don’t need to have that imagery in my head.”

Hanji smiled as they took a sip of their coffee and shrugged. “It wouldn’t surprise me. Kids are horny at that age. Remember how we were?”

Levi frowned. “Not really. Most of those years were spent in a drunken haze, if you remember.”

Hanji laughed at that, a nice warm laugh. “We used to fuck everywhere. I remember one time you were pissed out of your mind and I got you to fuck me in a Mcdonald’s bathroom.”

Levi groaned in disgust. “I can’t believe some of the shit you got me to do when I was drunk,” he said, remembering that time Hanji dared him to seduce Mike. He’d done it, of course, but he had trouble looking at the man to this very day. He wasn’t entirely sure if Mike remembered it either, but he knew that at least one of them had cried and he was pretty sure it wasn’t just him.

“I can’t believe how many times you and Erwin banged and neither of you remember it,” Hanji said, shaking their head. “I mean, I’ve seen Erwin’s body, and it’s not something you forget easily. Especially his dick.”

“He does have a nice dick, I will admit that.”

“Erwin is so much older than us, oh my god, we’ve both fucked someone who was a legal adult when we were under 5 years old.”

“At least we didn’t fuck him at the same time,” Levi said, laughing. 

Hanji grinned. “You wanna have a party this weekend, Levi?”

“God. God no. Please. I don’t think I could handle that much. Are you kidding? We’re a wreck together when we’re sober; can you imagine us drunk and trying to fuck? We’d probably kill someone.”

“You’re totally right, oh god,” Hanji laughed, adjusting their tank top so it covered their boxers a little more. Levi liked it when Hanji only wore a tank top and their boxers in the morning. He wasn’t sure why he liked it; were it anyone else, he’d probably be grossed out. 

He might have liked it so much because he could see Hanji’s nipples and it was easy access for an early morning session. He wouldn’t lie; he found Hanji extremely attractive---always had. He knew Hanji felt the same towards him; they’d been like bread and butter since they met at a party one night four years ago.  
He didn’t really remember much aside from waking up that day.  
\--   


_“Are you leaving?”_

_Levi stopped midway through fastening his pants. “Uh, yeah?”_

_“You don’t have to. It’s like 3 am.”_

_“I.”_

_“Come back to bed, Levi,” they crooned, holding open the blankets for him. “When it’s a more acceptable time in the morning, I’ll make breakfast.”_

_Well, he wasn’t going to turn down free food._

_A yawn, and the sound of joints popping along with the loss of warmth around his shoulders immediately brought him into the realm of consciousness; as he jumped slightly in surprise._

_“Oh, sorry, did I wake you?”_

_“Yes.”_

_They laughed. Levi found that he didn’t mind the sound as much as he normally would. “Well, good morning, sunshine. What do I feed you?”_

_“Toast. Plain toast. And tea, if you’ve got it.”_

_They smiled, a slightly mischievous smile that made Levi wonder what he’d landed himself in by agreeing to stay. “Are you hungover, Levi?”_

_Levi blinked. “No. I wasn’t that drunk.”_

_The smile wavered for a bit before they shrugged, sliding off the bed and stretching in one solid motion. Levi watched as slender limbs fell on slender hips with a twinge of envy; he’d never had such a slender build as this person. He had always been short and a little more on the stocky side. It wasn’t that he was flabby or anything, just broad and muscular._

_“So, Levi, what do you do?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Like. Outside of school.”_

_“Uh.”_

_“Okay. Let me start then,” they said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m doing an externship at a doctors’ office because I took the career center.”_

_“I, uh,” Levi frowned. They’d met at a party. A party full of upperclassmen. Sure, he was of consent, but he was also not very proud of it considering his grade. “I don’t really do anything extracurricular wise.”_

_“Oh, that’s cool--- do you have any hobbies?”_

_Levi bit his lip. “Well, uh. Not. Not really?”_

_They smiled and stirred their coffee lazily. “Levi, it’s alright if you don’t want to tell me.”_

_Levi exhaled heavily. “It’s not that. I just don’t really do much of anything aside from move furniture for old cat ladies and go to school sometimes.”_

_“You move furniture for old cat ladies? Oh my god, you must have some wicked stories,” they said, brown eyes lighting up._

_“Well, not really. There’s a lot of shit, though. Literal shit. I hate cats.”_

_They laughed again, and Levi found that he still didn’t mind the sound. He didn’t even mind the small talk. He kicked himself for not remembering their name, though. What was it? Hanes? Heinz? Happy?_

_“Hanji, have you seen my---oh!” A woman in approximately her mid-twenties stopped at the doorway of the kitchen. “Hello, there! My name is Ilse, I’m Hanji’s Aunt.”_

_Levi blinked, and looked between the two._

_Hanji smiled. “My parents kicked me out when I was fourteen. I’ve been living with Ilse and her girlfriend since,” they said, and pointed to something behind Ilse. “You left it in that cupboard. Also, this is Levi. He’s friends with Erwin.”_

_“Isn’t Erwin a little old for you two to be hanging around?” Ilse asked, eyes narrowed._

_Hanji laughed. “I’ll tell him you said that, Ilse.”_

_“Oh god, please don’t, he’ll make me clean the attic for a week,” she said, groaning as she retrieved a shirt from the kitchen cupboard._

_Levi didn’t want to know. He really, really didn’t._

_“Well, it was nice meeting you, Levi. Glad this weirdo actually has friends that aren’t fifteen years older,” Ilse said, throwing a wave over her shoulder as she walked away, pulling the shirt on over her shoulders._

_“Hanji, I’m a freshman.”_

_Hanji blinked. “Aw, what--- I knew you looked a little baby-faced but come on, that’s weird.”_

_“I’m legal. I’m sixteen.”_

_Hanji held a hand over their heart, letting out a sigh of relief. “Thank god, I was not looking forward to having to shave my head and share a shower.”_

_Levi lifted an eyebrow but didn’t comment._

 

“Levi, what are you thinking about?” Hanji asked, their chin resting on their hand. 

Levi blinked. “Us, I guess. How we met and everything.”

“I almost miss those days sometimes, don’t you? We were so free.”

Levi nodded. “Everyone at my school thought you were some rock star, but you were really just a big nerd.”

Hanji smiled. “Everyone at my school thought you were twelve.”

Levi dumped the remaining tea over Hanji’s head.

“Oh god Levi, I love how wet you make me,” Hanji said, voice low as they wrapped their slender limbs around him as he turned around from putting his cup in the dishwasher. 

“You are a literal pile of shit,” Levi said, smiling into the kiss Hanji planted onto his lips. 

“Yeah, but you seem to like shit.”

“Especially this particular shit.”

Hanji laughed as he pressed them against the fridge, hands holding their shirt by the cotton straps in order to bring their faces to a similar level as Levi kissed Hanji. “Why don’t we take this somewhere a little more comfortable?”

Levi exhaled thickly, nodding and letting Hanji lead him by the straps of his binder to the bedroom. Immediately Hanji’s talented fingers were undoing the small hooks at the side of his chest, kissing down his neck and back up his jaw. Levi grew impatient as they slowly trailed the cotton part of his binder upwards, choosing instead to simply take it off himself, freeing Hanji’s hands to whip off their own cotton shirt. Soon Hanji’s mouth was back on his, as his hands worked their way around Hanji’s body.

And then, Hanji’s phone rang from the table next to the bed.

Hanji shrugged and continued making a mess of Levi’s neck, until Levi’s phone went off, merely seconds after Hanji’s had finished ringing.

They both sighed, and Levi reached up and grabbed his phone. 

“This better be fucking important,” he growled into the phone.

“Levi?? Are you with Hanji?”

“Yes. Who is this.”

“It’s uh, it’s Eren, I uh, I’m really sorry, can you give the phone to Hanji, it’s uh, it’s really important,” he said, voice shaking slightly.

Levi was a jerk, but he wasn’t that much of a jerk. He agreed and handed the phone to Hanji, who sat up, straddling Levi’s thighs as they let their hands lightly roam over his body, holding the phone between their shoulder and ear. 

Hanji knew Levi’s weaknesses, and the light almost-not-touching caresses were one of the biggest. He tried not to moan when their fingers lightly grazed over his nipples, the stifled moan coming out as a small whimper.

He could tell that Eren had heard.

“Hmmm? Oh, that noise? That was just Levi,” Hanji said, sounding bored. “How far from downtown are you two, Eren?”

He heard Eren reply, too muffled to really make out any of the words.

“Don’t worry about why Levi’s making noises in the background, Eren. Human beings make all sorts of noises, and that includes Levi. I’ll see you both in twenty minutes,” Hanji said, glancing at Levi. “It’s fine, Eren, it’s what we’re here for. Do you know how to get here?” Hanji’s deft fingers brushed his inner thighs, making Levi squirm slightly. Hanji explained to Eren how to get here as they worked on getting Levi off, one hand covering the small man’s mouth to muffle the already muffled noises he was making. “We’re exercising, Eren. Levi didn’t get so built by lying around on my couch, you know,” they had said after one particularly poorly restrained moan escaped. “Listen, stay calm and I’ll see you in a few. I have to help Levi with his posture, he’s going crooked again.” With that, Hanji hung up the phone and tossed it to the pile of clothes in the corner, smiling back down at Levi. “We’ve got about ten more minutes, why don’t you show me what you’re made of?”

Levi always liked a challenge.


	3. Tiny Shrill Screams of A Tiny Bitter Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this chapter, and there's slightly less dialogue.  
> tw for gender dysphoria as always i guess

Maybe it was in the subtle sway of his hips as he walked; how his legs were always just a little too close; how his waist went in ever so slightly. Maybe it was in how he, despite his already short stature, hunched his shoulders over under an invisible weight on his chest; maybe it was the slight bump on his chest when he wore the wrong shirt. Maybe it was the way his voice was more akin to smoke than smolder; a quiet wisp of air expelled from his throat, not his chest.

Whatever it was, it held him back daily; no matter where Levi went, it seemed, he was consistently read as the wrong gender. 

It aggravated him to no end.

 

\--

Eren and Mikasa had been kicked out of their home by their normally absentee father, who, upon coming home to his adopted “son” in a dress and makeup and his biological son helping to pick out an outfit for a date with a boy from Mikasa’s school, threw a fit and effectively beat Eren to a pulp before Mikasa returned the favor, breaking Grisha’s arm before grabbing her ever-ready emergency escape bags and the wounded Eren and heading out the door.

Hanji, having also been kicked out, immediately took the duo into their arms, whispering soothing words of welcome and instructing Levi to grab the first aid kit and “try to make sense of his face.”

Eren insisted that Levi really didn’t have to, and that he was perfectly capable of dabbing his face with peroxide, but Levi wasn’t exactly buying it, especially not with the strong glare Mikasa fixed him with. He dutifully dabbed cotton soaked in hydrogen peroxide on Eren’s cuts, muttering soft insults when Eren flinched or hissed, and maybe he let the boy see a bit of his tender side; he blamed that on having just fucked, though, and told the boy not to get used to him being this nice.

Since Mikasa was already eighteen, and Eren turned eighteen tomorrow, Grisha legally couldn’t force them to live in his house, and since their mother knew they were safe (but was out of town visiting family), it wasn’t likely that the cops would come knocking on Hanji’s door anytime soon. 

After patching the fidgety boy up and checking over Mikasa, Levi was convinced (coerced, more like) by Hanji to make brunch and take off work to help Hanji set up a living space in the spare rooms of Hanji’s apartment. 

Mikasa clearly didn’t approve of Levi, though Levi couldn’t really tell what about him specifically bothered her. He imagined it was because Eren seemed to for some reason idolize him, but it could also be his shitty sense of humor. He was betting on the latter.

\--

 

“Levi, oh my god, marry me,” Eren was saying around a mouth of pancakes.

“Fat fucking chance, kid,” Levi muttered, setting out a platter of scrambled tofu. “Armin’s more my type.”

Eren choked, and Mikasa roughly patted him on the back, murder in her eyes.

“He’s kidding,” Hanji said, sighing over their coffee. “Levi only likes blonds when he’s wasted, and that’s limited to human bricks.”

“Hanji, I swear to god, I am going to kill you in your sleep,” Levi said, holding the spatula in a threatening matter.

“Well, mark me down as scared and horny,” Hanji said, pushing themself away from the table.

Eren mumbled out a ‘me too,’ earning him a healthy slap from Mikasa.

 

\--

“Hey, hey, hey. Levi. Hey.”

He was ignoring Hanji. 

“Hey, hotcakes. Hey. Hey.”

Nope.

“Hey. I’ll let you handcuff me to the bedposts tonight.”

Hanji didn’t have bedposts. 

“Okay, I don’t have bedposts. You can still handcuff me.”

Levi’s interest may have been piqued. 

“Okay, god, I’ll let you handcuff me and use the strap on.”

Levi made a face at the wall. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the strap on. 

Hanji leaned down to whisper in his ear. “I’ll wear the outfit,” they said, breath tickling his ear and sending a chill down that side of his body. 

He _was_ fond of the outfit.

“Okay. What, Hanji.”

Hanji grinned, jumping excitedly. “We should throw a welcoming party for Eren and Mikasa!”

“Or, we could just throw Eren a birthday party? Since tomorrow is his birthday?”

Hanji paused mid celebration, mouth frozen in an open smile. “That’s even better!”

Levi groaned. He shouldn’t have said anything.

 

\--

Hanji had, in fact, worn the outfit. However, Hanji wore the outfit during dinner with Eren and Mikasa.

Eren and Mikasa seemed to be rethinking their choice of a safehouse, although Eren less so than Mikasa, if the slight reddish tinge to his entire body and the refusal to look up from his plate on the table was any indicator.

Hanji seemed completely undeterred by sitting at the dinner table in the red-and-black corset and lace underwear-with-garters combo. Levi refused to speak to them for the rest of the night and went to his own apartment, three blocks away.

“Oh, Levi--- I wasn’t expecting you to come home,” Petra said, bending her neck back slightly to look at him when he came in. “Is everything alright?”

“Hanji’s fucking dumb,” he said, shrugging. “So nothing new there.”

Petra smiled, turning the page of her magazine. “There’s coconut ice cream in the freezer. Go put on your pajamas.”

Levi blinked. Petra was always unreasonably kind to him, for all that he rarely came home and when he did, he barely spoke to her. He changed out of his day clothes into his pajama pants and a large t-shirt and climbed onto the couch with the small carton of cookie’s and cream coconut ice cream, sitting at the opposite end of the couch and setting his legs across Petra’s lap. 

“Levi, you have the hairiest legs I’ve ever seen,” she said, scrunching up her nose as she rested her arms on them anyways. 

“You should’ve seen my dad,” he said, shrugging. “This is nothing.”

Petra made a face of disgust. “I never want to meet your father.”

“Good thing he’s in for life, then, huh?”

Petra gasped. “Oh, gosh, Levi! I’m sorry, I forgot!”

“I don’t care. He deserved it.”

Petra frowned. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Levi shrugged. “Not much to talk about. The guy killed my mum and a couple other people, got caught. I got shipped off to my Grandma’s.”

“I don’t mean about that, Levi.”

“What the hell would I talk to you about?”

Petra looked hurt. Levi wished he could eat the words he spewed sometimes. Like a dog eats it’s own vomit. 

“Sorry--- that came out wrong.”

Petra smiled, but it was a hurt smile and Levi could tell. “That’s okay, Levi. I know you don’t think of me as much as I think of you,” she said, quietly excusing herself from the room.

“Petra, come on, don’t---,” Levi groaned. He didn’t know how he got himself into these situations. It was like he opened his mouth to say one thing and something completely different came out and slapped everyone in the room. No matter what he did, he ended up hurting someone. 

Usually Petra.

Levi had known Petra since he was 18, and they had been quick to become friends; with Petra being as kind-hearted and delicate but strong and passionate, it was easy to understand someone wanting to be friends with her. Why she chose to be friends with the crass, unsociable and mostly offensive Levi, on the other hand, was nothing short of a mystery. 

Some had speculated she was in love with him. He didn’t want to believe that.

People being in love with him gave him a feeling of guilt he didn’t know how to combat.

“Petra, hey--- what I said, earlier--- I’m sorry,” he started, and stopped, grunting slightly and leaning against the door to her room. “You know I value your friendship. You’ve tolerated my constant asshole antics for two solid years. We live together.”

“You don’t lobe me,” was the tear-muffled response.

“Petra,” he said, biting his lip. “Petra, I don’t know what you mean by lobing you, but I uh.”

Muffled sniffling. Ew, snot. “Go on,” she said quietly.

Levi’s thin brows knitted together. “I--- well, I don’t hate you.”

Shit.

“Fuck--- Petra, I don’t,” he groaned loudly as she seemed to start crying harder. “I don’t mean it like that,--- come on, you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t, Levi. Everything with you is so mottled up and confused, and I don’t know what to think, because one day you’re flirting with me and hanging around me and the next you want nothing to do with me,” she said, voice loud as she swung open the door. “Can’t you just--- make up your mind?”

Levi flinched, eyes going wide. “Petra,--“

“No, Levi. Don’t give me any more of that ‘but Petra I don’t mean anything by it’ bullshit, because you and I both know you’re just stalling and I’m not in the mood,” she said, face red with anger. 

“I---“

“And don’t you even think about telling me you’re confused because I know you aren’t, Levi, and I’m sick of being strung along like some stupid puppet, so either get it straight or don’t talk to me,” she yelled, finger jabbing Levi in the chest.

Levi couldn’t distinctly remember ever flirting with Petra outside of what he assumed was normal between friends, but maybe he had misread the situation. 

No, no--- he had definitely misread the situation. Like usual. He really didn’t know why people thought he was worth liking.

Levi wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He’d been in situations like this, sure--- but none of them ended particularly well; if he rejected people off the bat they were sad and didn’t want anything to do with him. If he dated them, he would get bored and feel restrained and miserable, and he’d hurt them, and be left feeling guilty and wondering why he was such a fuck up.

Either situation was a loss. 

Petra didn’t look like she was in the mood to wait for him to decide which option he’d like to use. He didn’t know what to do. His brain was misfiring. Normally he was able to come up with decisions on the fly. This was a lot to think about.

A shrill, loud, and borderline inhuman sound erupted from his throat as he stared at the redhead in front of him.

 

\--

“So I heard Petra broke you?”

Levi didn’t want to talk about it. In fact, he didn’t want to even think about it. Mostly, he wanted to forget that entire night had ever happened. He especially wanted to be able to go back to his apartment and sleep in his own bed, rather than share one with Erwin next door.

Mostly he was just sick of waking up to Erwin’s dick stabbing him.

“Woah, what happened?” Eren butted in, crash-landing into the chair next to Hanji and causing it to slide into Hanji’s chair. “Someone as nice as Petra broke Levi?”

Hanji nodded excitedly. “I guess he just stood there for ten minutes making a high pitched noise, she didn’t know what was happening.”

“Woah. I wonder what she had to do to cause that,” Eren said, eyes wide with amazement. 

Levi wanted to punch both of them. Mikasa was at school.

Levi punched both of them.

\--

“No, but seriously, what’d she even do?”

Levi glanced wearily at the brunette boy, lounging shirtless on Hanji’s floor. Gross. 

“Are you going to answer, or are you enjoying the view too much?”

Levi let out a shrill, high pitched noise as he stared at the wall ahead of him, laundry basket still in his hands.

“Oh shit. Oh shit. Hanji! Hanji! Help! I broke Levi!”

Hanji came running into the living room, a glint in her eye that would scare just about anyone. “Perfect! Now, Eren, what were you talking about when he started doing it?”

Levi really just wanted to explode and cover them with his guts.

Nasty.

\--

They were supposed to be singing Happy Birthday, but at this point everyone save for Mikasa was so wasted they weren’t really singing anymore. At some point they had all convinced Levi to join in on the game of spin the bottle, in which he swore it was rigged because it kept landing on people who’d confessed their feelings to Levi. 

He’d made out with Eren three times, Petra twice, Hanji once (but that was fine, he made out with Hanji all the time). He’d also managed to have to make out with Mikasa, which neither of them was very happy about; the pair tolerated each other but didn’t necessarily care for one another. Mikasa wasn’t a horrible kisser, he’d kissed worse, but she wasn’t really trying.

She was also the only sober person and was only playing the game because Eren wanted her to.

Eventually Levi spun the bottle and it landed on a poor, defenseless Armin, who was a poor, defenseless, clingy drunk and didn’t understand why Eren and Hanji started giggling. Levi vaguely regretted making that comment about Armin being his type. 

“You’re not a rock,” he slurred, breaking away from the kiss.

Armin looked confused, and rightly so.

\--

Levi woke to the world spinning slowly. There was hot breath on his neck and his head was absolutely pounding so much he wasn’t sure moving was a good idea.

His bladder, however, thought differently.

“I really, really shouldn’t drink so much,” he muttered, rolling over to face Hanji.

Except when he rolled over, it wasn’t Hanji.

Levi thrust himself out of the bed violently, falling on his ass as he scrambled away.

In the bed with him was one Eren Jaeger. 

“Hunh?” confused turquoise eyes opened slowly and seemed to take a second to focus in on the site before him. “Levi? What’re you?”

Levi wasn’t sure what to do in this situation. “I don’t know either, kid.”

“Did we??” Eren asked, pulling up the blanket and looking down. He let out a sigh of what sounded like relief. “I don’t think we did. I’m still in my batman underwear.”

Levi wasn’t sure he needed to know that Eren’s underwear was batman themed, but he hoped Eren was right--- because Levi, even in his most wasted moments, was highly likely to get dressed after sex, unless it was with Hanji.

Levi pulled on his binder and shirt, fully aware of Eren’s eyes on him as he wiggled his binder over his hips and pulled it over his chest. It was a relatively new one, so it hadn’t stretched out enough to be pulled over his shoulders yet, making for some awkward wiggling motions in the morning.

Well, afternoon. 

“You can stop staring, I’m clothed.”

“I, uh---“

“You aren’t sneaky whatsoever, kid,” Levi said, rolling his eyes. “If we’re lucky, someone took pictures and we’ll know what the fuck happened last night.”

\--

Hanji for some reason, was one of those freaks of nature that not only didn’t get horrible hangovers, but also remembered most of what happened when they were drunk. And since Hanji had learned early on that without photographic evidence, no one would believe what they said happened, Hanji had a habit of recording and taking pictures.

Sometimes those pictures helped, especially for the less fortunate Levi.

Hanji’s phone was lying alone on the kitchen table when Levi stumbled out into the eerily quiet apartment. He picked it up and entered the passcode, first checking Facebook for any incriminating evidence. There were a few pictures of Levi smashing cake into Eren’s face, with Mikasa in the background either pinching the bridge of her nose or looking mildly murderous at the camera. 

After finding nothing too horrid on facebook, he went through Hanji’s camera roll, finding many pictures of the events of last night; pictures from the spin the bottle game, the truth or dare that followed, what looked like a game of twister. No, that was definitely not just twister.

He was pretty sure twister didn’t normally involve fire.

He glanced at the living room. There was a cooking sheet with a bunch of ashes in it. He didn’t really want to know. 

After that, there were pictures of Armin sleeping on the fridge, Mikasa falling asleep on the couch, with Petra curled up on the rest of it. A couple of Eren’s friends, passed out in a pile on the living room floor. 

And, finally, Levi passed out on top of Eren, both in nothing but their boxers and socks, a party hat still on Eren’s head and streamers in his hand. They appeared to also be wearing tacky shutter glasses, but he assumed that was solely Hanji taking advantage of their slumber.

“Well, it looks like I don’t have to kill you, Eren,” Levi said, as the brunette boy entered the room with a yawn. He showed Eren the picture and Eren made a face before wandering to the fridge, scratching his stomach. His bare stomach. 

Gross.

“Gooooood morning, little cutie-pie!” Hanji said, sliding across the tile and pressing their lips to Levi’s temple. “I brought you some motrin!”

“I’m conflicted between wanting to make love to you or stab you to death with Eren’s flaccid dick,” Levi responded, taking the motrin out of Hanji’s hand.

“Why my dick?”

“It’s the smallest in the area.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do those little '--' for breaks throw any of you off?? like should i continue doing that or would you like me to omit them?


End file.
